Saturday, January 19, 2013

Are you depressed?

Why do people feel depressed? Depression could start out as a very mild case and could lead and end up in severe condition of being suicidal. Depression as mild as sadness could lead to unwillingliness to do and enjoy normal daily life activities . How do I know this? cause my mom suffered from depression for years untill she started working on herself and making changes through coaching. I was honored to help my mom come out of depression and live her life just the way it should be with joy and happiness.


"Our emotions are the driving force that determines the quality of our lives.  Everyone is capable of experiencing the whole range of human emotions, yet many people allow themselves to experience only a narrow range.  One person may go from feeling sad to angry to sad again, while another may go from feeling love to joy, and someone else may regularly experience fear, anxiety, and pain.  It is characteristic of western culture to believe that our emotions are outside of our control.  Most people believe that the depressed person is simply depressed, does nothing to deliberately bring on that state, and therefore cannot do anything to change it.  Similarly, the happy person simply has a happy disposition and is also not responsible for bringing on that state. 
            We seem to believe that our emotions are determined by a mysterious predisposition.  The truth is emotions do not come to us.  We go to them.  If you regularly experience anger, sadness, guilt, or fear, instead of joy, gratitude, compassion, and excitement, this is because these emotions meet certain needs within you.  Fortunately it is possible to make a conscious choice about your emotions"
"All behaviors, including emotions, consist of three parts working together: patterns of physiology and posture, patterns of mental focus, and language patterns.  In order to be depressed, a person must assume a certain posture, focus on certain specific things, and use certain specific language patterns that lead to depression.  Robbins will ask Tahnee to deliberately put herself into a state of depression so that the audience can see what patterns of physiology, focus, and language are necessary for her to feel depressed."
(from my Coaches Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes)

If you know someone who suffers from depression please forward this video to them. Email me for a 30min FREE consultation over the phone. marynawabi@gmail.com

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Are you stuck in this emotional crazy cycle like millions of us?


A concept developed and popularized by Tony Robbins
One of the topic that Tony Robbins, the Master coach and Strategic Interventionist, covers in his "programs is the “Crazy Eight”.
In brief, the emotional pattern of alternating between sadness and anger is called a crazy-eight. Many people live most of their lives alternating between these two emotions.
The person experiencing a crazy-eight might start by getting really sad and helpless over an issue (job, marriage etc..). However, when this sadness begins to make him/her feel too weak OR when he/she stops feeling sorry for himself/herself, he/she snaps out of it with anger. This makes him/her feel strong for short time. But then he/she cannot remain angry all the time OR gets tired of being angry OR he realizes that anger is not getting him/her anywhere; so he/she goes back to connecting with himself/herself and feeling sad again. Then he/she gets tired of that OR feels that self pity is not going to get him/her out of this situation. So he/she gets angry again.
This is a very simple pattern, and it’s not unique.
Do you experience this? Do you know anyone who lives like this? Do you know how to get him/her out of it? It is easy when you know how.
1. Find out about your (or his/her) 6 human needs. (These are certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth and contribution)
2. Prioritize them (i.e. rank them in order of importance to you).
3. Determine how you are meeting your top 3 needs.
4. Think and determine how the crazy eight is meeting these needs.
5. Is this pattern (the crazy eight) making you feel important (SIGNIFICANT) to those who love you? Do you get more attention (CONNECTION) from others? Does it offerCERTAINTY of attention? Is it exciting at times, hence providing VARIETY? Or CERTAINTY in failure keeps you in your comfort zone?
6. It is said that if a behavior meets at least 3 out of 6 human needs it becomes addictive. And unless determined action is taken it will be very difficult to break out of it.
7. So take the determined action. Understand your needs and then find a new and better way of meeting your top 3 needs. DROP the crazy eight and move on with your life. The Choice is yours…"

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Are we born with personality traits or is it developed?

Nature versus Nurture!!!

When considering the venerable debate of whether “Nature” (genes) or “Nurture” (environment) is more important in affecting human behavior, the conclusion remains somewhere in between according to the human psychology studies.

We know how people inherit blue eyes, brown hair, height, fair skin and other physical characteristics. But where human behavior comes from is still being argued. We still don’t know how much is decided by the DNA in our cells and how much is determined by where and how we live, our parents and siblings and various life experiences. They all play a factor.

Regardless of our DNA and the environmental affects on our behaviors, we have the ultimate control to change our behaviors. The only time we will take the steps to make a change if the end result gives us the certainty/power, acceptance/approval, love/connection. These are the primary reason why people engage in certain activities regardless of our DNA. People are only driven by pain and pleasure in taking actions over any area of their life. 

Surely, we are born with certain DNA characteristics, which includes our strengths and weaknesses. As we develop into our environment, we take on certain behaviours to mold into that environment so we can get accepted and become part of that social group.

Regardless of our background and DNA, we can train any human beings to become more compassionate, loving and help each other if only we train them to feel with their hearts and not to think from their egos.  We all have that power inside of us. I have coached people to replace their hatred with love and open their hearts to accept others. I have seen this in my own experiences with others. When I consult clients to help them over come life challenges, they first have this built wall full of limitations and the belief system they have to block love and good energy.

Once I train them to open their hearts and love, all of the limitations go away. They start to live and be happy.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Are you in the mids of deciding to stay or leave your long time relationship



Its often very difficult for people to leave a long term relationship, deciding if its the right decision or not. How can you make sure if its the right decision? Need more help on this? Email me.

If you think someone else can benefit from this please forward this to them. If you need some coaching advice please reach out to me via email at solutions4everydaylife@gmail.com

Did you know that forgiving is one of the roads to feeling happy?


"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love.
In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."
-- Robert Muller

I talk to so many people on daily basis about overcoming their day-to-day life challenges as a Life Coach. Whether its about dealing with their teenage kids, couples/relationships troubles, young adults from other cultures in the US, teens and drugs, adultery and the list goes on and on.

In almost all cases I teach and help them to forgive in order to start living a happy life. It seems so difficult for people to forgive because of the way they hold on to their believe systems and values.

People hold on to those values so strictly that it actually hurts them in the long run and blocks their energy for feeling happy, if they only were to open their heart for forgiveness.

Why do we have such a difficult time forgiving? Its because no one teaches us to learn to forgive and let go of the belief system we built over the years. We want to be right about something wrong done to us. Being right is part of the ego which promotes a very unhealthy life.

"One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything before you go to bed" -- Ann Landers

Also, when we have certain expectations from the ones we love around us, once the expectations are not delivered we hold grudge and blame, therefore forgiving becomes very difficult.

When you forgive it takes you from the place of the victim to that of a victor." -- Unknown