What motivates our children?

 Question?

What motivates our children? Why do some kids have a sense of directions in life while others make destructive decisions that don't make sense? Why do so many adolescents  make communication so difficult that their parents cannot help them to change their directions? And how can we influence our growing children even when communication is difficult and even when they are uncooperative?

Answer!

The truth is that in many cases its their dynamic within the family itself that drives teens to make poor decisions even while their parents trying their best to help them.

In any family unit the child is trying to be helpful in most situations, even if it takes an unhelpful form. A child's or adolescent's bad behavior stems from the family's dynamic which could lead later to drug and alcohol issues. Often parents don't see their own faults contributing to the child's bad behavior because in their mind they have done everything to raise a healthy child which indeed might be the case but at times doing your best as a parent may have a different effect on the child. Every child is so different and their needs are different, therefore requiring additional knowledge to give what a child needs while growing up.

The number one fact is to remember giving unconditional love and accepting them even if they make mistakes.  The worse thing is to condition your love for them based on some mistakes they made. They can face certain consequences for their mistake but not conditioning your love. Children need a lot of certainty at home as they are  growing up, they face tremendous amount of uncertainty in their environment outside of their homes. The best certainty is to give them unconditional love and no criticism. Positive feedback, understanding them, and accepting  motivate them in life to do well.