Create your own recipe for a relationship you desire not according to other's model of relationship

How can you create happiness in a relationship? Do you know what you and your partner want out of a relationship? Is relationship about commitment or love? What is love?

Once I read in a book called Survived by Love,"I believe we merry for many reason but underlying many of them is one simple and powerful motivation, we all seek to fill the whole for our souls through LOVE. Perhaps all of our attempts for relationship come from that driving force which is LOVE. The best chance for filling that whole in the soul is not a committed marriage, its a mature marriage free from expectations of society and the cultural craziness surround marriage and love."

Marriage gives us a partial fulfillment, love gives us the fulfillment we crave. Relationships are about unconditional love, acceptance and understanding each other's mistakes and faults. Relationships are not just about yourself and your own needs, its traveling beyond your own selfishness needs.

Perfect partnership does not exist, its about accepting the imperfections of life's journey that has shape each one of us. Relationships are about being open to embrace change and be different from the rest of the population so you can create your own recipe for love and happiness.

While a vast majority of the population expect to be handed over a ready perfect mate with all the qualities  included but the reality of the fact is that you take time to work on your relationship. A perfect mate does not exist, you make it to what works for you and your partner, as long as you both are willing to communicate and seek some professional advise.

A loving relationship takes time, patience and fulfilling each other's needs. A long lasting relationship comes from sharing the same values, morals and goals.

Mary Nawabi

Life Coach

Studied at Tony Robbins-Madanes

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A well-balanced life is where you bring the focus on every aspect of your life, including:

Self Love, Family, Fitness, Finance, Spirituality, Growth and Contribution

916-572-5162 or 925-408-7647

There is Always a Solution for Every Situation in Life!

Real Estate Agent for more a decade

Intero Real Estate Services

How to talk about sex with your children!!!

If you are not talking about sex to your children, someone else is and that person may not be the right source to get guidance from for your children. Children need to trust you as their primary source of guidance. As kids continue to understand and experience their bodies, and the physical changes of puberty emerge, your attitude and acceptance will continue to play an important role in their healthy development.

As kids mature sexually, they're often both excited and scared about growing up — especially when they notice hair growing in new places, get their periods, or start having wet dreams. They spend a lot of time wondering if they're "normal" and comparing themselves with their friends. Kids — especially early and late bloomers — need lots of reassurance as they head into this uncharted territory.

Puberty can be a very confusing time, with lots of physical and emotional changes, and kids need to know what to expect in the months and years ahead, even if they're too shy to ask.

By being open to your young child's questions about bodies, babies, love, and sex, you set the stage for continued conversations and openness when puberty begins. Welcoming the questions about your child's changing body and sexual issues — and not treating them as dirty or embarrassing subjects — will help foster a healthy sense of self-acceptance in your child. It also makes it more likely your child will use you as a resource for information and guidance.

Mary Nawabi

Real Estate Agent for more a decade

Intero Real Estate Services

Life Coach

Studied at Tony Robbins-Madanes

myblog I facebook I Tweet videos for your daily life challenges

A well-balanced life is where you bring the focus on every aspect of your life, including:

Self Love, Family, Fitness, Finance, Spirituality, Growth and Contribution

916-572-5162 or 925-408-7647

There is Always a Solution for Every Situation in Life!

I believe if you are not happy in your intimate relationship, then you are not happy.

"I believe if you’re not happy in your intimate relationship, you’re not happy. Because no matter what happens, no matter how much love we have from our children, or how much we accomplish in our lives and how much we achieve, I personally believe in our soul, everybody wants that experience of aliveness." Tony Robbins

This is one subject that I am very passionate about because I always believed from early childhood that everyone deserves to be happy in their relationships. 

I witnessed my parent's relationships not as the one to follow as my model of marriage. My dad married my mom because he was ready to start his family life but my mom married my dad because she wanted to get away from the abuse at home. For my mother it was an escape from one bad situation. She had always resentment towards my dad because she never felt that she was given much options to choose from. 

Growing up I witnessed how much she resented her choice, later in life she realized that my dad had been the best husband but that came a lot later in her life.  

The same way for all of us there are moments in life which some calls it middle age crisis or the moments that you question everything, your career, your relationship, your health and etc..questions that one may not be sure whether you are in the right place or not. 

Clarity is the last thing that crosses your mind about your decisions, you wonder and wanna make sure you are making the right decisions. You wish a psychic would just show up and tell you  one way or another so you could release the block of energy which is holding you from being present 100%. 

Relationships do die after a while or things get boring and its a natural process to anything in life we constantly.  I say that also because, that sense of aliveness, affects your kids as much as anything else as well. 

I really believe that any relationship can be brought to love and passion again, but the challenge of course, is that most people today have a prospective, an expectation, where the highest standard they have is not for themselves, but what they expect from their partner. 

I think, that’s the number one reversal that has to occur in any relationship for things to transform. That one’s, as long as we’re looking at what am I getting out of a relationship, then we’re going to be disappointed, we’re going to be frustrated, we’re going to have challenges.

 

I see so many relationships fall apart because people got so caught up in fulfilling their needs and wanting to  feel significant because it was missing in their current situation. 

In most cases I see roles of gender being reversed, a man using his feminine energy and a woman using masculine energy. A woman needs a man who can protect her and tell her that she will be taking care of no matter what. When a man takes the position of a passive person using feminine energy, the relationship is doomed to end. 

If you need some coaching advice on your current situation, send me a message and ask for a 30 min consultation. 

Mary Nawabi 

Certified Life Coach

Studied at Tony Robbins-Madanes

myblog I facebook I Tweet videos for your daily life challenges

A well-balanced life is where you bring the focus on every aspect of your life, including:

Self Love, Family, Fitness, Finance, Spirituality, Growth

916-572-5162 or 925-408-7647

There is Always a Solution for Every Situation in Life!

Solutions 4 Everyday Life: Do you have conflicts within yourself about drinki...

Solutions 4 Everyday Life: Do you have conflicts within yourself about drinki...: What causes for most people to engage in destructive activities, such as drinking, smoking, over eating or even drama? Having double stand...

Do you have conflicts within yourself about drinking, smoking or over eating

What causes for most people to engage in destructive activities, such as drinking, smoking, over eating or even drama? Having double standards? Everything we do in life and the actions we take that are not healthy for us are caused by specific reasons. You can create a life many have only dreamed about in the past, a life you truly deserve. Being trained and coached by Tony Robbins who has passionately pursued the answers to questions, "What shapes human behavior? How can we create lasting change within ourselves and others?" Through research he has conducted, as well as interaction with 50 million people from 80 countries - He has synthesized some fundamental tools and strategies to help maximize our capabilities as human beings and measurably accelerate the pace at which we can achieve our true goals and desires.

Through Tony Robbins findings, I can help just about anyone who is ready to change their life right away. The results speak for itself. Join me for a 30 min complimentary session to find out what is stopping you from achieving the life you want to enjoy. solutions4everydaylife@Gmail.com

Are you really ready to make some changes in your life?

Change happens from within. We often blame other to make changes so it can suit our desires. Its a lot easier to pinpoint someone else's mistakes and make demand to get them fixed rather than looking at ourselves to make the changes. You want to see people around you including your love ones change for better, start changing yourself. We often want our life to come easy without putting any extra efforts into it specially in our relationships. I have been working non-stop to keep taking my relationship into a higher level. Relationships are like flowers, you have to take care of them otherwise they will die.  We expect everything to come easy to us, whether its our fitness, career, money, or relationships. All great things come with hard work, dedication and patience.

Call me for some coaching advice on making some changes in your life. I give one hr FREE coaching advice.

Mary Nawabi

Certified Life Coach

Studied at Tony Robbins-Madanes

myblog I facebook I Tweet videos for your daily life challenges

A well-balanced life is where you bring the focus on every aspect of your life, including:

Self Love, Family, Fitness, Finance, Spirituality, Growth

916-572-5162 or 925-408-7647

There is Always a Solution for Every Situation in Life

What motivates our children?

 Question?

What motivates our children? Why do some kids have a sense of directions in life while others make destructive decisions that don't make sense? Why do so many adolescents  make communication so difficult that their parents cannot help them to change their directions? And how can we influence our growing children even when communication is difficult and even when they are uncooperative?

Answer!

The truth is that in many cases its their dynamic within the family itself that drives teens to make poor decisions even while their parents trying their best to help them.

In any family unit the child is trying to be helpful in most situations, even if it takes an unhelpful form. A child's or adolescent's bad behavior stems from the family's dynamic which could lead later to drug and alcohol issues. Often parents don't see their own faults contributing to the child's bad behavior because in their mind they have done everything to raise a healthy child which indeed might be the case but at times doing your best as a parent may have a different effect on the child. Every child is so different and their needs are different, therefore requiring additional knowledge to give what a child needs while growing up.

The number one fact is to remember giving unconditional love and accepting them even if they make mistakes.  The worse thing is to condition your love for them based on some mistakes they made. They can face certain consequences for their mistake but not conditioning your love. Children need a lot of certainty at home as they are  growing up, they face tremendous amount of uncertainty in their environment outside of their homes. The best certainty is to give them unconditional love and no criticism. Positive feedback, understanding them, and accepting  motivate them in life to do well.

5 Common Words That Create Failure

"Your level of success is predetermined by the words you use every day. Avoid these five "failure" words.

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The words that people use every day determine whether they will achieve failure or success. There are five words that, in my observation, frequently show up in the conversation of losers, much more so than in that of winners. Here they are:

1. Luck

Although it's true that unforeseen events can affect outcomes, it was not luck that made the difference. It was the events. Luck had nothing to do with it.
Believing in luck focuses your thoughts on an imaginary construct that neither you nor anybody else can change or affect.
What's worse, luck is an excuse that explains away failure ("It was just bad luck") and devalues your successes ("It was just good luck").

2. Enemy

It's true that you have competitors, and that sometimes, for you to win, they have to lose (and vice versa). Even so, there are no enemies in business.
Enemies are opponents in warfare, when people are killing one another. Business is about making things better, not killing people.
The moment you demonize competitors by calling them enemies, you close off your business options. Today's competitors are often tomorrow's partners.

3. Rejection

Wouldn't it be nice if people always said yes to your ideas? Well, sometimes people aren't going to like your ideas, or even you personally, for that matter.
You can pathologize such events by thinking of them as rejection, or you can understand that what really happened was that the other person's desires didn't match yours.
Rather than using a word that automatically makes you miserable, concentrate on changing your approach or approaching somebody else.

4. Hate

I cringe every time I hear somebody use this word in casual conversation. At work, it's usually something like: "I hate my boss" or "I hate my job."
Hate is a sick word, and it creates sickness in your body. Every time you use that word, you might as well be sticking a cancer cell in your body. Seriously.
I'm not saying that you've got to be sweetness and lovey-dovey about everything, but why pollute your brain by actually hating anything or anybody?

5. But

I'm sure you know somebody who can't say anything about any idea, plan, or activity without crutching the sentence with the word but.
It's always something like "Hey, that's a great idea, but..." or "I agree that we need to take action, but..." It's discouraging, and it kills momentum.
There's a substitute for but that actually creates momentum: the word and. Try it next time a but is about to emerge from your mouth.
Tomorrow, I'll give you the words that, in my observation, signal that a person is a winner rather than a loser. So stay tuned.:" Inc.com Geoffrey James

Positive reinforcement helps your brain develop new cells

You and Your Powerful Brain

• Your brain has the power to develop new pathways to create a change in your behavior and the way you do things. You can do just about anything in life, if you feed your brain with the same affirmations. 

• The new study shows about neuroplasticity that how our brain develops new cells everyday by just simply feeding with positive words. The same concept was introduced to us years back by Milton Erickson's discoveries about Hypnotherapy and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

Mary Nawabi

Certified Life Coach

Studied at Tony Robbins-Madanes

myblog I facebook I Tweet   videos for your daily life challenges

A well-balanced life is where you bring the focus on every aspect of your life, including:

Self Love, Family, Fitness, Finance, Spirituality, Growth and Contribution 

 916-572-5162 or 925-408-7647

There is Always a Solution for Every Situation in Life!

Change your life today, take an action

What is Life Coaching?

What is happiness?

Since the beginning of time, great minds have debated the true key to happiness. Some say fame, others say fortune; still others search in vain for a fountain of youth.  Ours is a culture of wants and needs—and most of us convince ourselves that once we get what it is we want, we'll be happy.

Evidence to the contrary be damned—that big new house or fast car will indeed make me happy.

We've all been there—we've all coveted something at one point or another.  But of course, it's not stuff that makes us happy—that much we know.  Instead, real and lasting happiness comes from something different entirely—something elegantly simple and entirely attainable.  Happiness is within ourselves not anything relating to outside of us.

Enjoy my video about happiness and please feel free to comment and share....

If you think someone else can benefit from this coaching video, please forward this video link to them. Ask me about the complimentary ONE hr coaching session.

There is always a solutions for every situation in life!

Mary Nawabi
925-408-7647

Solutions 4 Everyday Life: Five Stages of Grief

Five Stages of Grief

What makes a relationship or marriage successful

Dr. Milton Erickson's early findings on Family Therapy, Brief Therapy, NLP and Hypnotherapy are the basis for studies of Tony Robbins' research to the "The Six Human Need Psychology". Knowing your top two basic human needs are directly related to what makes a relationship work. Once you know your basic human needs and your partner's then you can fulfill each other's needs at the deeper level leading to a happy long lasting relationship.

4 Stages of Love according to my coach Tony Robbins

What Motivates You? What is it that motivates you at the deeper level in life?

The question is..  What is it that motivates you at the deeper level in life?

You have dreams for your kids and family life, you have dreams for your love life, you have dreams for career and becoming financially independent, and we have dreams about our health. But why is it that sometimes no matter how hard we try but still don’t reach the level of success we want to enjoy? The biggest reason is knowing your core values.

What are life values? For most of us we are not trained to identify our values in life.  Do you know what you value in life? Is it family, children, honesty, loyalty, spirituality, friendship, courage, being on time, and so forth. It is important to carefully consider your values for several reasons.

1.      They could guide your life minute by minute towards your goals, rather than your life being controlled by your bad habits, impulses or emotions. Values give you a road map of where you want to go. A clear precise direction.

2.      Values can not only guide but inspire and motivate you, giving the energy and zest for doing something great and meaningful. It’s a motivation level that stays with you permanently. Waking up in the morning with full excitement and willing to take on the world’s challenge.

 

For example : I value in life. Family, fitness, helping others bring significant to their life, loyalty, getting things done ontime, recognition, good listening, open communication, understanding.

When we don’t know our core values then we aimlessly wonder following some one else’s dream because it looks good on the outside. That’s when we create conflicts inside of us, because our actions are not the reflection of our values.

Once you identify your values then you can set your goals to accomplish them. The goals that are right for you and your lifestyle.  

If you need help finding your motivation level and start taking some actions in your life please contact me at marynawabi@gmail.com and I will help you set up a complimentary session.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you depressed?

Why do people feel depressed? Depression could start out as a very mild case and could lead and end up in severe condition of being suicidal. Depression as mild as sadness could lead to unwillingliness to do and enjoy normal daily life activities . How do I know this? cause my mom suffered from depression for years untill she started working on herself and making changes through coaching. I was honored to help my mom come out of depression and live her life just the way it should be with joy and happiness.

"Our emotions are the driving force that determines the quality of our lives.  Everyone is capable of experiencing the whole range of human emotions, yet many people allow themselves to experience only a narrow range.  One person may go from feeling sad to angry to sad again, while another may go from feeling love to joy, and someone else may regularly experience fear, anxiety, and pain.  It is characteristic of western culture to believe that our emotions are outside of our control.  Most people believe that the depressed person is simply depressed, does nothing to deliberately bring on that state, and therefore cannot do anything to change it.  Similarly, the happy person simply has a happy disposition and is also not responsible for bringing on that state. 

            We seem to believe that our emotions are determined by a mysterious predisposition.  The truth is emotions do not come to us.  We go to them.  If you regularly experience anger, sadness, guilt, or fear, instead of joy, gratitude, compassion, and excitement, this is because these emotions meet certain needs within you.  Fortunately it is possible to make a conscious choice about your emotions"

"All behaviors, including emotions, consist of three parts working together: patterns of physiology and posture, patterns of mental focus, and language patterns.  In order to be depressed, a person must assume a certain posture, focus on certain specific things, and use certain specific language patterns that lead to depression.  Robbins will ask Tahnee to deliberately put herself into a state of depression so that the audience can see what patterns of physiology, focus, and language are necessary for her to feel depressed."

(from my Coaches Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes)

If you know someone who suffers from depression please forward this video to them. Email me for a 30min FREE consultation over the phone. marynawabi@gmail.com

Are you stuck in this emotional crazy cycle like millions of us?

A concept developed and popularized by Tony Robbins
One of the topic that Tony Robbins, the Master coach and Strategic Interventionist, covers in his "programs is the “Crazy Eight”.
In brief, the emotional pattern of alternating between sadness and anger is called a crazy-eight. Many people live most of their lives alternating between these two emotions.
The person experiencing a crazy-eight might start by getting really sad and helpless over an issue (job, marriage etc..). However, when this sadness begins to make him/her feel too weak OR when he/she stops feeling sorry for himself/herself, he/she snaps out of it with anger. This makes him/her feel strong for short time. But then he/she cannot remain angry all the time OR gets tired of being angry OR he realizes that anger is not getting him/her anywhere; so he/she goes back to connecting with himself/herself and feeling sad again. Then he/she gets tired of that OR feels that self pity is not going to get him/her out of this situation. So he/she gets angry again.
This is a very simple pattern, and it’s not unique.
Do you experience this? Do you know anyone who lives like this? Do you know how to get him/her out of it? It is easy when you know how.
1. Find out about your (or his/her) 6 human needs. (These are certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth and contribution)
2. Prioritize them (i.e. rank them in order of importance to you).
3. Determine how you are meeting your top 3 needs.
4. Think and determine how the crazy eight is meeting these needs.
5. Is this pattern (the crazy eight) making you feel important (SIGNIFICANT) to those who love you? Do you get more attention (CONNECTION) from others? Does it offerCERTAINTY of attention? Is it exciting at times, hence providing VARIETY? Or CERTAINTY in failure keeps you in your comfort zone?
6. It is said that if a behavior meets at least 3 out of 6 human needs it becomes addictive. And unless determined action is taken it will be very difficult to break out of it.
7. So take the determined action. Understand your needs and then find a new and better way of meeting your top 3 needs. DROP the crazy eight and move on with your life. The Choice is yours…"

Are we born with personality traits or is it developed?

Nature versus Nurture!!!

When considering the venerable debate of whether “Nature” (genes) or “Nurture” (environment) is more important in affecting human behavior, the conclusion remains somewhere in between according to the human psychology studies.

We know how people inherit blue eyes, brown hair, height, fair skin and other physical characteristics. But where human behavior comes from is still being argued. We still don’t know how much is decided by the DNA in our cells and how much is determined by where and how we live, our parents and siblings and various life experiences. They all play a factor.

Regardless of our DNA and the environmental affects on our behaviors, we have the ultimate control to change our behaviors. The only time we will take the steps to make a change if the end result gives us the certainty/power, acceptance/approval, love/connection. These are the primary reason why people engage in certain activities regardless of our DNA. People are only driven by pain and pleasure in taking actions over any area of their life. 

Surely, we are born with certain DNA characteristics, which includes our strengths and weaknesses. As we develop into our environment, we take on certain behaviours to mold into that environment so we can get accepted and become part of that social group.

Regardless of our background and DNA, we can train any human beings to become more compassionate, loving and help each other if only we train them to feel with their hearts and not to think from their egos.  We all have that power inside of us. I have coached people to replace their hatred with love and open their hearts to accept others. I have seen this in my own experiences with others. When I consult clients to help them over come life challenges, they first have this built wall full of limitations and the belief system they have to block love and good energy.

Once I train them to open their hearts and love, all of the limitations go away. They start to live and be happy.

Are you in the mids of deciding to stay or leave your long time relationship

Its often very difficult for people to leave a long term relationship, deciding if its the right decision or not. How can you make sure if its the right decision? Need more help on this? Email me.

If you think someone else can benefit from this please forward this to them. If you need some coaching advice please reach out to me via email at solutions4everydaylife@gmail.com

Did you know that forgiving is one of the roads to feeling happy?

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love.
In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." -- Robert Muller

I talk to so many people on daily basis about overcoming their day-to-day life challenges as a Life Coach. Whether its about dealing with their teenage kids, couples/relationships troubles, young adults from other cultures in the US, teens and drugs, adultery and the list goes on and on.

In almost all cases I teach and help them to forgive in order to start living a happy life. It seems so difficult for people to forgive because of the way they hold on to their believe systems and values.

People hold on to those values so strictly that it actually hurts them in the long run and blocks their energy for feeling happy, if they only were to open their heart for forgiveness.

Why do we have such a difficult time forgiving? Its because no one teaches us to learn to forgive and let go of the belief system we built over the years. We want to be right about something wrong done to us. Being right is part of the ego which promotes a very unhealthy life.

"One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything before you go to bed" -- Ann Landers

Also, when we have certain expectations from the ones we love around us, once the expectations are not delivered we hold grudge and blame, therefore forgiving becomes very difficult.

When you forgive it takes you from the place of the victim to that of a victor." -- Unknown